As I sit here beginning a week long retreat I embrace the unknown within before I step deeper into the unknown on an outer level. I’m struck by how much there is to let go of in order to truly walk the path of freedom. As human beings we’re conditioned to engage life by holding onto or clinging to ‘things’ (things being anything that can be conceptualized such as relationship, career, money, beliefs, opinions, validation from others, places, community, material things). There is a great cosmic joke in this however since life is a constantly changing flow with nothing to hold onto. Thus you have the suffering of the human condition. Most people who engage some form of spiritual path are familiar with the act of letting go and have probably even put it into practice to some degree. However to walk in freedom requires a complete letting go or the act of letting go in every moment of every concept. Letting go becomes way of directly engaging existence itself and restores life to its natural flow but only when it becomes our primary focus.
The conditioning of clinging runs very deep and can be so subtle that when we think we’ve let go we are actually just clinging to something more subtle. There is nothing wrong with this, its part of the path, as long as we continue to illuminate the deepening levels of our conditioning. Awakening is referred to as a path that one walks for a reason, it requires constant motion, we must keep moving because as soon as we linger we cling. The primary obstacle to practicing letting go consistently is fear. The more we let go of the closer we are to our true state of being, we are confronted with infinity which is experienced by the mind as terror. Letting go in this context does not mean not having things in our lives, it means not holding onto them, we see them clearly as temporary changing and as reflections of our creative process. This changes the relationship to our world, we see the world as literally being a dream rather than something solid.
Walking the path of freedom means walking our own unique path rather than someone else’s path even if that someone else is a great spiritual teacher. The challenge here for many spiritual warriors is letting go of their spiritual beliefs which of course are just concepts no matter how beautiful they may be. They may have been useful for a time but if they are not eventually let go of they become the newest object of attachment and the very thing that traps us instead of freeing us. So what are we left with if we let go of our spiritual beliefs? We’re left with our own path and the full responsibility for our own awakening as we realize no one is going to save us or do it for us. We create the space needed to hear the subtle voice of our own hearts and intuition which is all the guidance we will ever need not to mention to the only real source of true guidance. For me this is why the path of freedom is a warriors path because it requires endless courage to face the totality of ourselves, infinity. It requires great discipline to never stop letting go no matter how much fear and terror we may experience in the process.
On one level this path is one of intentional madness because what we normally think of as sanity is also let go of. Sanity means normality and is characterized by thinking, speaking, feeling and behaving within a set spectrum. This set spectrum is that of consensus reality and is also known as the prison or matrix which separates us from freedom. The path of the spiritual warrior is all about dissolving this limited dream we call reality. We still relate to consensus reality but we no longer mistake it for reality which means we can no longer obtain security from it. So there is a very real fear of going mad that everyone on the path of freedom must face. However this type of madness is not what we see in mental hospitals even though it can appear to be on the surface. What differentiates it is intention and personal power. Warriors are doing what they are doing with awareness, intention and power whereas the average person suffering from mental illness does not possess these qualities at least not in a developed form.
As we walk our path we will learn many things and probably have many teachers but it is the degree to which we integrate these teachings and practices that makes the difference followed by letting the conceptual aspect of them go. One of the hardest things to let go of is the need for validation from others, for encouragement and understanding because there comes a time when we must walk the path alone. If we’re able to embrace that aloneness we recognize that it is the key to a deep interconnectedness with every facet of the universe. That very aloneness also opens the door to true relationship where we’re able to see others clearly without the veil of what we need from them. A true deep heart connection becomes possible.
I breath in receiving the flow of life which I am
I breath out releasing the flow of life which I am
I lack nothing because in being I am everything
Through intent I channel the flow of life with creativity into form
Creating and destroying worlds in every moment
Life and death, one.