I seem to have reached a new stage lately with my process of transition and transformation. Until recently so much of it has been an experience of fear and anxiety, of self doubt and judgment and feeling like a victim even though I consciously chose to take the path of renunciation. Lately however those negative emotions which I realize needed to play out as part of this process have begun to subside somewhat. What has begun to shift the experience is surrender. I’ve reached a point of surrender to my in the moment experience, a place of completely accepting what is and that subtle shift in perspective has changed things significantly. It has transformed the experience from one of fear and confusion to one of joy and freedom. I feel like I’m no longer fighting or resisting so much. I now feel the limitless possibility of where I’m at and realize my ability to build a new outer experience from here that mirrors much more clearly my inner purpose of awakening. The idea of surrender is that as long as you are fighting what is, the now or the present moment, you are disconnected from being or from the divine because the present moment is the only way to access it. When you surrender to what is you immediately reconnect with being or spirit and all possibilities become available again. It does not mean that you remain in a situation that is not serving you but only that you no longer fight it and by not fighting it are able to see clearly what action needs to be taken if any. I continue to practice this in each moment.
One final note, I cannot recommend highly enough the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. He is in my view a true spiritual teachers who expresses universal truths in words that speak directly to a higher part of us and in a way that is easy to understand. His teachings along with regular Zen practice has upleveled my practice tremendously.